YTH-220
Ryan Wilson
Final Reflection Paper
For my practicum I volunteered at JC Bodyshop during their After-school Program (A.S.P.) and Block Party night on Thursdays. For A.S.P, I helped kids with their homework, co-led a small group and was in charge of many different kinds of activities (such as Madden or Guitar Hero Tournaments). Block Party had more of a community center type feel. Most of what I did for Block Party was playing basketball with the students and building relationships with them.
Both of these experiences produced a lot of frustration for me. A.S.P. was always in a state of constant anarchy, and with the exception of a few kids, no one displayed any respect for each other, much the less for the JC sponsors. Block Party was very unorganized. This created a lot of confusion for me in that I often found it hard to find anything important to do, besides building relationships.
I realize now that I probably should have been more proactive in finding other jobs to do and talking with Pastor Mike about my concerns, but unfortunately it is too late now. If I were to do this whole thing again, I would be more assertive and ask for different kinds of jobs.
Another very frustrating aspect of the practicum was the lack of face time with my supervisor. I did not realize at the beginning of the practicum that I needed ten supervised hours with my supervisor, and then once I noticed it, Pastor Mike was barely around anymore. I did get some one-on-one time with Pastor Brittan, probably accumulating about two hours with him, but I hardly got to talk to Pastor Mike at all, much the less spend supervised hours with him.
I feel like I learned a lot and grew both personally and professionally, although most of what I learned was what not to do. I made many mistakes in my first practicum, and I feel like I have learned some valuable lessons about dealing with people. Spiritually, I have been on a roller coaster ride all semester. It seemed like right when I was feeling the best spiritually, I would have a terrible day at practicum and vice-versa. Hopefully next semester I can maintain better spiritual balance.
Overall, this experience has been very helpful to me, but also very frustrating. I suppose you could contribute some of my frustrations as growing pains, but I also think that the organizational aspects of the JC Bodyshop internship program could be greatly improved.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Week 9 (6:30-8-30) Blockparty
This will be a short post, seeing that I will be making my final reflection in just a second here.
Well, today was pretty good. A.S.P. is over now for the semester, so I just did Block Party today. We just hung out and played basketball most of the time. It is kind of nice to have the freedom to just relate with students, but at the same time, I wish the Pastors would give us more to do. It feels so unorganized there sometimes.
I realized today that God has gifted me more toward small town ministries rather than Urban ministries. This is not to say that I cannot develop skill in Urban ministries, but naturally with my unique experiences, I am more fit currently for small town ministry.
This was a down week spiritually for me. Family issues. Bleck.
Well, today was pretty good. A.S.P. is over now for the semester, so I just did Block Party today. We just hung out and played basketball most of the time. It is kind of nice to have the freedom to just relate with students, but at the same time, I wish the Pastors would give us more to do. It feels so unorganized there sometimes.
I realized today that God has gifted me more toward small town ministries rather than Urban ministries. This is not to say that I cannot develop skill in Urban ministries, but naturally with my unique experiences, I am more fit currently for small town ministry.
This was a down week spiritually for me. Family issues. Bleck.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Week 8 (3:15-8:30) A.S.P & Block Party
This week was kind of a strange one. It was the "Christmas Party" for the after school program, and all we did was watch the movie Elf and give away prizes. Even though we made the activities much more kid friendly, they still couldn't behave or sit still. In fact, they were worse than they were last week. I don't understand it. Then to make everything worse, we rewarded them for their behavior and gave them prizes at the end. It was kind of ridiculous. How are supposed to expect these kids to learn to behave themselves and learn about discipline if we never do ANYTHING to discipline them? Simply taking their names out of the drawing would have been better than nothing. It just seems to like sometimes, they are completely out of control, and yet, I still have not been given any authority to come up with any real consequence. The worst I can do is, "Ok that's it. We're going to go talk to Pastor Mike." Scary.
Block Party was interesting too. The gym was taken up by a fish fry set-up so all the usual Block Party peeps were crammed into the main part of the building. During Block Party, I felt completely useless. No one asked me to do anything, no one I tried to talk to seemed to really respond... all I could really do was be a policeman and make sure kids weren't doing drugs or making out. I thought to myself as twirled my imaginary nightstick that there must be more to youth ministry than this. I was sick of just sitting around and I was feeling like this entire practicum, I have not really done substantial good for any kid there.
If I were to make suggestions about how to fix these things, I would probably say:
1. Give us more responsibility -- Honestly, it seems like our supervisors don't care at all if we're even there sometimes. We show up, say hi to them, and then they basically say, "Go play with the kids. Let us grown ups handle all the real work." I'm sorry, but that really frustrates me sometimes.
2. Make a real plan for discipline and start STICKING to it -- The kids can basically do whatever they want, and as long as they stop doing it for about 5 minutes at a time, no one does anything about it. For me, it would be a lot easier to follow through on discipline if I knew what their policy was about it... (or if they had one)
3. Quit treating the kids like lil' homies and start treating them like adolescents -- This one is on me. I have a habit of trying too hard to make the kids like me. Honestly, it shouldn't be my responsibility to be their best friend, it's my responsibility to be a shephard for them. Sometimes a shephard is really nice to his sheep, but are times when he has to pull the sheep with his staff. Cheesey analogy, and I probably screwed it up, but you get the idea.
4. Have them try to come up answers themselves, rather than spoon-feeding them canned Christianese answers -- I think the kids we are dealing with are old enough to take part in discussions in a small group type setting.
Anyway, I know I have been very critical today, but these are just a few of the things that I have picked up about how not to do things. Don't get me wrong, Pastors Mike and Brittan are awesome, but those are just some of their weaknesses.
Spiritually speaking, it was a roller coaster ride. One night, I was absolutely depressed, the next day I felt way better because that night I had resurrendered my future to God, but then the next day I was low again because of familiy issues. So the week was quite different and difficult for me.
One more post, then this blog is done.
Block Party was interesting too. The gym was taken up by a fish fry set-up so all the usual Block Party peeps were crammed into the main part of the building. During Block Party, I felt completely useless. No one asked me to do anything, no one I tried to talk to seemed to really respond... all I could really do was be a policeman and make sure kids weren't doing drugs or making out. I thought to myself as twirled my imaginary nightstick that there must be more to youth ministry than this. I was sick of just sitting around and I was feeling like this entire practicum, I have not really done substantial good for any kid there.
If I were to make suggestions about how to fix these things, I would probably say:
1. Give us more responsibility -- Honestly, it seems like our supervisors don't care at all if we're even there sometimes. We show up, say hi to them, and then they basically say, "Go play with the kids. Let us grown ups handle all the real work." I'm sorry, but that really frustrates me sometimes.
2. Make a real plan for discipline and start STICKING to it -- The kids can basically do whatever they want, and as long as they stop doing it for about 5 minutes at a time, no one does anything about it. For me, it would be a lot easier to follow through on discipline if I knew what their policy was about it... (or if they had one)
3. Quit treating the kids like lil' homies and start treating them like adolescents -- This one is on me. I have a habit of trying too hard to make the kids like me. Honestly, it shouldn't be my responsibility to be their best friend, it's my responsibility to be a shephard for them. Sometimes a shephard is really nice to his sheep, but are times when he has to pull the sheep with his staff. Cheesey analogy, and I probably screwed it up, but you get the idea.
4. Have them try to come up answers themselves, rather than spoon-feeding them canned Christianese answers -- I think the kids we are dealing with are old enough to take part in discussions in a small group type setting.
Anyway, I know I have been very critical today, but these are just a few of the things that I have picked up about how not to do things. Don't get me wrong, Pastors Mike and Brittan are awesome, but those are just some of their weaknesses.
Spiritually speaking, it was a roller coaster ride. One night, I was absolutely depressed, the next day I felt way better because that night I had resurrendered my future to God, but then the next day I was low again because of familiy issues. So the week was quite different and difficult for me.
One more post, then this blog is done.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Week 7 (A.S.P. 3:15-6:00; Block Party 6:00-8:15)
Wow I'm a little bit late posting this one. I had a great Thanksgiving though, and I'm ready to rock and roll again.
Week 7 was a very, very difficult experience. For the sake confidentiality, I will not include the gory details, but let's just say that there are some kids that have problems. I spent almost the entire time trying to counsel and help one particular kid. It was a pretty scary situation, but I'm pretty sure the situation ended up resolving itself.
During that week, I have to admit, I was just about at rock bottom spiritually. I was exhausted, discouraged and eager to go home for Thanksgiving. I have to admit also that that Thursday, I really did not want to be there. I want to always have the right attitude about everything, but I definitely had a crummy attitude coming into that day.
The lessons God taught me that week were that sometimes, things will be out of your control, and even if it breaches confidentiality, there are things that you need to report to people for the safety of the child. Things will never be out of God's control however, and he's going to be there helping you along every step of the way.
Week 7 was a very, very difficult experience. For the sake confidentiality, I will not include the gory details, but let's just say that there are some kids that have problems. I spent almost the entire time trying to counsel and help one particular kid. It was a pretty scary situation, but I'm pretty sure the situation ended up resolving itself.
During that week, I have to admit, I was just about at rock bottom spiritually. I was exhausted, discouraged and eager to go home for Thanksgiving. I have to admit also that that Thursday, I really did not want to be there. I want to always have the right attitude about everything, but I definitely had a crummy attitude coming into that day.
The lessons God taught me that week were that sometimes, things will be out of your control, and even if it breaches confidentiality, there are things that you need to report to people for the safety of the child. Things will never be out of God's control however, and he's going to be there helping you along every step of the way.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Week 6 (Thursday: A.S.P 3:30-6; Block Party 6-8:30)
This week basically followed the usual pattern... but let me tell you... this week was BAD. When the time came for the students to listen to Britton give his anti-drug talk during the after school program, the kids basically started rioting right there. Jason summarized it best when he shouted from the balcony in desparation, "CAN THIS END PLEASE?!?!?!?" Britton pulled me aside during the mass chaos to tell me that in youth ministry there are going to be good days and bad days. This was a bad day. He told me that you can't let the bad days get you down, because even when your program is going to pot, you are still ministering to the kids. His words of wisdom to me were interrupted by a flying marker smacking me in the back of the head. A loud rebuking from Britton of the errant marker launcher followed.
During Bodyshop, I must confess, most of my energy was already gone. Anthony comes up to me and says, "Man, you should quit coming on Thursdays and come on Wednesday or Sunday nights." I agreed that I probably should... but I am not usually one to give up on something. I'm really glad that Anthony is doing Block Party. If he wasn't there, I would probably fall over and die halfway through Block Party because of all the policework I would have to do. One thing I've realized about myself through this practicum is that I REALLY hate confrontation. I don't like to yell at kids when they are misbehaving, and I can't understand why they don't just listen to me. That is one area that I want to improve on.
This week spiritually was actually very good. I hardly had any homework this week compared to the previous few weeks, so I had time to spend alone with God and getting some sleep. This next week should be a little bit harder... we'll see how I do this week.
During Bodyshop, I must confess, most of my energy was already gone. Anthony comes up to me and says, "Man, you should quit coming on Thursdays and come on Wednesday or Sunday nights." I agreed that I probably should... but I am not usually one to give up on something. I'm really glad that Anthony is doing Block Party. If he wasn't there, I would probably fall over and die halfway through Block Party because of all the policework I would have to do. One thing I've realized about myself through this practicum is that I REALLY hate confrontation. I don't like to yell at kids when they are misbehaving, and I can't understand why they don't just listen to me. That is one area that I want to improve on.
This week spiritually was actually very good. I hardly had any homework this week compared to the previous few weeks, so I had time to spend alone with God and getting some sleep. This next week should be a little bit harder... we'll see how I do this week.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Week 5 (Thursday: A.S.P, Block Party -- 3:15-8:15, Saturday: Barn Bash -- 6:00-11:30)
So it's been a while since my last post... but that is because it has been a while since I've been able to go to JC Bodyshop. First there was fall break, then Pastor Mike was out of town and then finally, after it had been three weeks since my last time at my practicum site, I got to come again.
Thursday was a very rough day, I must confess. It started out very uneventful, since most of the kids I usually play basketball with beforehand hadn't showed up yet. I was pretty hungry, since I ate a very light lunch because I had a paper due the next day. Then everyone showed up... and the trouble began. The kids misbehaved so much during the After School Program that I felt more like a policeman than a youth pastor. I don't think I've had to be that firm with anyone since my little sister was in her terrible twos. One kid had an afro pin and was trying to stab people with it... another kid was being rude and obnoxious, talking out of turn and being downright disruptive... another kid was making fun of me and tapping my shoulder over and over again when he was supposed to be paying attention. It was an awful time. There is a contest going on between groups in the after school program. The team I am helping out with, nicknamed "Team Hardball," was subtracted points on a regular basis for misbehavior, and I basically just wanted to go home.
After the younger kids went home and a lot of the ones causing problems had left, then most of my buddies showed up with high energy levels and I expressed my frustration from the after school program with them. They basically shrugged it off, and we went to go play basketball, I don't mean this to rip on anybody at all, because I realize thet were doing what they were supposed to do, but I felt like I had put up with all the hard stuff from earlier, and then when I had finally gained enough respect to maybe connect a little bit with some of the kids, the other sponsors showed up and took over. At that point, I wanted to try and build relationships with the kids and to try and tell them why the pastors and I were upset with them, but then because the next wave of sponsors came in who had no idea what had been happening, the opportunity was lost. I felt like Thursday was probably the hardest day yet, and I figured it had been a complete failure and that, if anything, I was more distant from the kids than when I began.
On Thursday, Pastor Mike pulled us aside and told us about this "Barn Bash" that they were going to have on Saturday. I was feeling exhausted and frustrated with how things had been going at Bodyshop that day, so I was hesitant to commit to going, but my need for more practucum hours won out over my personal feelings. I went to the Barn Bash expecting to get Barn Thrashed by the kids again. This time, however, things were different. First off, the kids who had been disrespectful to me on Thursday noticed I was there and showed genuine excitement that I was there. "Well that's a pleasant surprise." I thought to myself. Anthony, Angie and I then chaperoned 7 consecutive hay rides in the freezing cold that evening, and surprisingly, the respectfulness continued! Maybe it was something in the starry November skies that resonated with the adolescants souls, or perhaps the excitement of going on a hay ride and eating marshmallows around a campfire overcame their hostility, but at least for one day, the door was open, and relationships were formed.
The main two lessons I learned from these experiences were 1. Even when you feel like you are being hated, you are still having an impact on someone's life, and 2. In order to really get to know your teens, you have to spend time with them outside of the church building.
Hopefully this next week is more like the Barn Bash than what Thursday was like.
Thursday was a very rough day, I must confess. It started out very uneventful, since most of the kids I usually play basketball with beforehand hadn't showed up yet. I was pretty hungry, since I ate a very light lunch because I had a paper due the next day. Then everyone showed up... and the trouble began. The kids misbehaved so much during the After School Program that I felt more like a policeman than a youth pastor. I don't think I've had to be that firm with anyone since my little sister was in her terrible twos. One kid had an afro pin and was trying to stab people with it... another kid was being rude and obnoxious, talking out of turn and being downright disruptive... another kid was making fun of me and tapping my shoulder over and over again when he was supposed to be paying attention. It was an awful time. There is a contest going on between groups in the after school program. The team I am helping out with, nicknamed "Team Hardball," was subtracted points on a regular basis for misbehavior, and I basically just wanted to go home.
After the younger kids went home and a lot of the ones causing problems had left, then most of my buddies showed up with high energy levels and I expressed my frustration from the after school program with them. They basically shrugged it off, and we went to go play basketball, I don't mean this to rip on anybody at all, because I realize thet were doing what they were supposed to do, but I felt like I had put up with all the hard stuff from earlier, and then when I had finally gained enough respect to maybe connect a little bit with some of the kids, the other sponsors showed up and took over. At that point, I wanted to try and build relationships with the kids and to try and tell them why the pastors and I were upset with them, but then because the next wave of sponsors came in who had no idea what had been happening, the opportunity was lost. I felt like Thursday was probably the hardest day yet, and I figured it had been a complete failure and that, if anything, I was more distant from the kids than when I began.
On Thursday, Pastor Mike pulled us aside and told us about this "Barn Bash" that they were going to have on Saturday. I was feeling exhausted and frustrated with how things had been going at Bodyshop that day, so I was hesitant to commit to going, but my need for more practucum hours won out over my personal feelings. I went to the Barn Bash expecting to get Barn Thrashed by the kids again. This time, however, things were different. First off, the kids who had been disrespectful to me on Thursday noticed I was there and showed genuine excitement that I was there. "Well that's a pleasant surprise." I thought to myself. Anthony, Angie and I then chaperoned 7 consecutive hay rides in the freezing cold that evening, and surprisingly, the respectfulness continued! Maybe it was something in the starry November skies that resonated with the adolescants souls, or perhaps the excitement of going on a hay ride and eating marshmallows around a campfire overcame their hostility, but at least for one day, the door was open, and relationships were formed.
The main two lessons I learned from these experiences were 1. Even when you feel like you are being hated, you are still having an impact on someone's life, and 2. In order to really get to know your teens, you have to spend time with them outside of the church building.
Hopefully this next week is more like the Barn Bash than what Thursday was like.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Week 4 (3:15-5:00) Afterschool program
3:15-3:45 - Organized and played dodgeball game in gym
3:45-5:00 - Split into small groups; helped Bruce with his group.
Due to our flag football team making the playoffs, I had to skip out a little earlier than usual from my practicum. On arriving at JC, I went into the gym as usual and played some basketball with the few kids who were there. Eventually a whole bus load of kids arrived, and it was my job to keep them all entertained and out of trouble until Pastor Mike came back from picking up some other kids. So with the help of Kyle, (a fellow practicum student), and another JC Sponsor, we got a huge game a dodgeball going in the gym! After playing boys vs. girls at first (dumb idea), we counted them off onto separate teams randomly. I was on a team with a bunch of the guys I usually played basketball with. We had a great time together and I started to feel a hint of respect and friendship coming from these kids. In Intro to Youth Ministry class, we had just been learning tht middle school age kids usually focus on events as their means of relating with people or learning. I realized there in the gym that day that I had gained a lot of respect with these kids because I was having fun with them in an event type setting, and because we were having fun together, not just them having fun and me monitoring them. That was the main lesson I learned that day... Youth Ministry is not about organizing fun activities for teens, you have to be in there with them, practicing incarnational ministry.
I realized that on my syllabus, it says that I have to give a "Spiritual Reflection" on how I've been doing spiritually over the last week. I have to be honest, this week wasn't the greatest for me spiritually. I've been really, realy overloaded with homework and books to read, and I haven't had that much time to read the Bible or spend time alone with God. I know I have to do a better job doing that. It's just so hard to set apart time to just relax and sit at the feet of Jesus when there is so much other stuff that needs doing. I'm praying that God would give me the will power to break away from everything for just 15 minutes a day to have devotions.
3:45-5:00 - Split into small groups; helped Bruce with his group.
Due to our flag football team making the playoffs, I had to skip out a little earlier than usual from my practicum. On arriving at JC, I went into the gym as usual and played some basketball with the few kids who were there. Eventually a whole bus load of kids arrived, and it was my job to keep them all entertained and out of trouble until Pastor Mike came back from picking up some other kids. So with the help of Kyle, (a fellow practicum student), and another JC Sponsor, we got a huge game a dodgeball going in the gym! After playing boys vs. girls at first (dumb idea), we counted them off onto separate teams randomly. I was on a team with a bunch of the guys I usually played basketball with. We had a great time together and I started to feel a hint of respect and friendship coming from these kids. In Intro to Youth Ministry class, we had just been learning tht middle school age kids usually focus on events as their means of relating with people or learning. I realized there in the gym that day that I had gained a lot of respect with these kids because I was having fun with them in an event type setting, and because we were having fun together, not just them having fun and me monitoring them. That was the main lesson I learned that day... Youth Ministry is not about organizing fun activities for teens, you have to be in there with them, practicing incarnational ministry.
I realized that on my syllabus, it says that I have to give a "Spiritual Reflection" on how I've been doing spiritually over the last week. I have to be honest, this week wasn't the greatest for me spiritually. I've been really, realy overloaded with homework and books to read, and I haven't had that much time to read the Bible or spend time alone with God. I know I have to do a better job doing that. It's just so hard to set apart time to just relax and sit at the feet of Jesus when there is so much other stuff that needs doing. I'm praying that God would give me the will power to break away from everything for just 15 minutes a day to have devotions.
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